Tales of the Third Trimester: Pain in my Ass

I have a ton of mommy friends who swapped their pregnancy stories with me.

“I was throwing up all 9 months of my pregnancy.”

“My ankles got so fat and ugly!”

“I gained so much weight with my first.”

“I could barely sleep!”

But none of them prepared me for what I have recently experienced.

I have had a kick-ass pregnancy. I haven’t complained once. (Well, maybe a couple of minor times, but I’m only human.) I’ve been fortunate to have been feeling well the majority of the past nine months…

…until I hit 37 weeks when I realized that the last couple of weeks would be a huge pain in my ass… literally.

If you have never experienced sciatic nerve pain, I won’t bore you with technical details. But I will tell you that it feels like someone is stabbing your lower back/upper butt cheek with a thousand knives every single time you take a step with that leg.

That pregnancy swagger I once had and loved has turned into a full blown old lady snail-like walk. And I mean, the snails are moving at a swifter pace than my 38 week pregnant ass.

via GIPHY

Yes. That is exactly what I currently look like when I need to get somewhere.

I’ve tried stretching. I’ve had a pregnancy massage (ahhh so good!) I even tried acupuncture today (which did help momentarily). My little girl is hanging out on that nerve and until she makes her entrance into this world (which will be within the week), I am not moving anywhere fast.

Instead of continuing to complain to anyone who will listen, I am now accepting of the fact that my last week will consist of Netflix and naps. (If you have any recommendations, I’m all ears!)